Throughout my life I've had to deal with conflicting parts of myself, the 'things' that make up who I am. Now, I know I'm not alone in this but when you reside in a country of which you are not 'native' to, you've got to wear two or three different (metaphorical) hats according to who you are interacting with.
~I love where I live!
I love the variety of people, the noises, the annoying weather, the busy atmosphere. It is home. I am British and I don't care who tells me otherwise because I am. I'm in love with the English language; different accents fascinate me, speaking it makes me happy and writing it is my release, the best way I can express myself.
~One thing I won't forget though is where I am from, Bangladesh.
I speak Bangla terribly (Bang-lish), can't get my head around weird superstitions and detest the cultural double standards. Despite this, I will not turn my back on the land in which my parents grew up in and my doting grandparents still live. Family is of utmost importance.
~The icing on the cake (so to speak) is that I am visibly Muslim.
It's fair to say that Islam has been dragged through the dirt the last decade or so, all because of the disgusting acts committed by complete morons (in my opinion). I am not ashamed to be a Muslim woman amongst this hysteria and labelling war, and enough already with the pity because supposedly we're oppressed - we are NOT!
So those are the different 'hats' I've got to wear and yes it is a challenge to juggle the different parts but that's what makes up a person.
I don't adopt ALL the attitudes and behaviours of a typical Londoner or Bangladeshi or Muslim (that would be a disastrous clash!) but those parts are within me.
The Londoner in me thinks with an open mind, tries to avoid judgements on others and loves getting to know people from all walks of life.
The Bangladeshi in me holds on to family principles, maintains respect and fulfils duties.
The Muslim in me strives to be modest both internally and visually, treats people on an equal bearing and doesn't take people at face value.
Often I'm told that if I do something this way rather than that way then I'm too British OR by looking the way I look or dressing a certain way I can't possibly be British?! It certainly is an ever-present see-saw effect of who you are.
At the end of the day, I am a bundle of identities and I'm not fake or a wannabe if I act out of the designated 'identity line'.
What are your thoughts on juggling identities?
Pop by again! M x