Pic 'n' Mix

Throughout my life I've had to deal with conflicting parts of myself, the 'things' that make up who I am. Now, I know I'm not alone in this but when you reside in a country of which you are not 'native' to, you've got to wear two or three different (metaphorical) hats according to who you are interacting with.

~I love where I live! 

I love the variety of people, the noises, the annoying weather, the busy atmosphere. It is home. I am British and I don't care who tells me otherwise because I am. I'm in love with the English language; different accents fascinate me, speaking it makes me happy and writing it is my release, the best way I can express myself.

~One thing I won't forget though is where I am from, Bangladesh. 

I speak Bangla terribly (Bang-lish), can't get my head around weird superstitions and detest the cultural double standards. Despite this, I will not turn my back on the land in which my parents grew up in and my doting grandparents still live. Family is of utmost importance.

~The icing on the cake (so to speak) is that I am visibly Muslim. 

It's fair to say that Islam has been dragged through the dirt the last decade or so, all because of the disgusting acts committed by complete morons (in my opinion). I am not ashamed to be a Muslim woman amongst this hysteria and labelling war, and enough already with the pity because supposedly we're oppressed - we are NOT!

So those are the different 'hats' I've got to wear and yes it is a challenge to juggle the different parts but that's what makes up a person.

-Shutterstock images-

I don't adopt ALL the attitudes and behaviours of a typical Londoner or Bangladeshi or Muslim (that would be a disastrous clash!) but those parts are within me.

The Londoner in me thinks with an open mind, tries to avoid judgements on others and loves getting to know people from all walks of life. 

The Bangladeshi in me holds on to family principles, maintains respect and fulfils duties. 

The Muslim in me strives to be modest both internally and visually, treats people on an equal bearing and doesn't take people at face value.

Often I'm told that if I do something this way rather than that way then I'm too British OR by looking the way I look or dressing a certain way I can't possibly be British?! It certainly is an ever-present see-saw effect of who you are.

At the end of the day, I am a bundle of identities and I'm not fake or a wannabe if I act out of the designated 'identity line'. 

What are your thoughts on juggling identities?

Pop by again! M x

Mummies | Money | M&M's

It occurred to me that I live in one of the most desirable cities to live in but hardly see any of the sights that it has to offer... so off to Central London I went!

I've visited the British Museum before, which is beautiful might I add, for a Hajj Exhibition. This time around I checked out the World Cultures exhibitions and Financial Crises exhibition.

For a Londoner I hardly know my way around...*hangs head in shame*... Had to consult the good ol' GPS on the phone, but seriously after a while the GPS was abandoned because it's just good fun to go wherever your feet take you. In a way it makes you blind to your surroundings because while you're staring at your phone screen you could be taking in the views and enjoying the atmosphere. I explored Covent Garden, Piccadilly Circus and got excited over M&M figures in M&M world!

What's your favourite spot in London?

Pop by again! M x

Embrace Again!

I don't usually tune in to This Morning but I caught a few minutes of the ever so interesting yet frustrating debate involving none other than Samantha Brick. 

What a perfect follow up from my previous post!

Last year Samantha declared that women hate her for being too pretty and now women all over Britain ought to constantly be on a diet to stay attractive. How dare she define, for women in general, what is attractive or not?

Healthy eating and eating in moderation is much more beneficial than any fad diet could be.

Just as Body Campaigner, Natasha Devon said "I don't know much about your life Samantha but it seems that you can't let go and enjoy yourself so I actually feel very sorry for you." 

You go girl!

~ Samantha Brick & Natasha Devon on This Morning ~

The amount of time she devotes to her dieting and calorie counting could be time well spent on other endeavours which nourish her life and contribute to her happiness. Granted, maybe dieting does make her happy, but don't force your way of life onto the nation and completely crush women's self-esteems. I say women because she states that her husband will leave her if she ever got fat! For goodness sake, we don't all have shallow, body-scrutinising husbands or partners. Not all men are fond of thin women; some prefer curvier women and last I checked embracing your body is not a bad thing! As long as you're in good health, falling short of 'looking the part' shouldn't matter. 

There is no ONE WAY to be attractive; is that not common sense?!

I say to you Samantha, stop preaching your thin tactics and trying to convert us into diet book worshippers. And think about the messages you are sending to the young, vulnerable readers of your content.

What do you make of all this?

Comment below!

Pop by again! M x

Embrace

How often do you worry about your weight?

Do you scrutinise your body to the point where it makes you miserable?

Why do we do this?

Let me introduce you to my teenage self: I was extremely obsessed with having a flat stomach at ALL times! I would judge myself against the standards that I would set myself... All of which were sky high. Girls around me also had similar body issues but I would tell them over and over again that they were fine the way they were and there's absolutely nothing wrong with their body. Shame I couldn't tell myself the same thing... I was my worst critic. I wasn't the type to fish for compliments though, like some would do, because ultimately it was my opinion that held importance, and anyway I couldn't take compliments.

I honestly think I had a distorted view of my body, I was in fact a 'normal' size and weight in terms of Body Mass Index but I had major hang-ups with my weight. Thankfully, I didn't resort to any drastic measures.

~This would have to be the defining picture of body dysmorphia~

The size zero debate was prominent at the time (around 2006 and onwards) and the fashion industry was seen as the main culprit for the increase in eating disorders and the self-confidence issues that young girls (and boys) and women faced. I can see how the two can be connected but truthfully, just observing celebrities in magazines or models on billboards can't make you fixated on body image. There's much more psychological torment that goes on that affects the whole issue.

Eventually, I grew up, but even growing up doesn't equal being happy with your body but I can honestly say that I am happy. I am glad that I don't mentally pick apart all the things I dislike about myself, instead, I choose to appreciate all that I have rather than desire all that I COULD have. It's not worth being fixated on things that just can't be changed, if you want to lose a few pounds then fair enough, it's attainable, but don't feel miserable about not living up to the image YOU'VE created for yourself. If you get a compliment, take it, believe it - people don't just dish out compliments for the fun of it!

I have no idea how it is for teens nowadays, but the size zero debate seems to have fizzled out. Instead, it seems that teens are rapidly getting older younger (if that makes sense). Access to technology and social networking has a lot to do with that, but I won't get into that now.

Pop by again! M x

Being human

How do you judge a character?
Is it by the words they utter, the acts they carry out or by what they have been 'known' to do?

Mistakes are inevitable, if you haven't made one then you are either deluded or deranged. 

However small or monumental our mistake is, what hopefully happens is that we are awakened with the realisation that we have miscalculated, crossed a boundary, hurt those involved.

I've had my fair share of mistakes and have been on the receiving end of plenty more but what amazes me is people's inability to ensure the mistake is not repeated. 

It's important to successfully see the mistake for what it was and work towards never repeating that same mistake in the future.

It takes a great deal of understanding and compassion to actually forgive a mistake that is not necessarily a repeated one but is ever so shocking. 

Often the shock can outweigh the mistake but this doesn't mean that it's guaranteed to happen again. Things go wrong, we fail, we regret, we live and we learn but our mistakes don't suddenly make us bad or unreliable.

If anything, life-changing mistakes are exactly that, they will pull apart and test limits - only the actions which follow will declare ultimate forgiveness.

A pet hate of mine is the overuse of the word 'sorry'. Don't get me wrong, it's necessary to apologise and fully acknowledge a mistake but what's the use if you'll have to say 'sorry' for the second, third, fourth time? No, 'sorry' doesn't make everything hunky dory but at the same time it does have its significance, it is the first rung of the ladder to forgiveness... Depending on the mistake, the ladder can be storeys high.

Pop by again! M x